You'll find me everywhere, cuz I'm a Rover...

Despite having told myself I would stay in the same apartment through graduation, I found myself unable to deal with the extreme level of nonchalance my landlords gave to my well-being, as well as the frequent police visits to the buildings in my area. I decided another move was needed.

This year was my first year living completely by myself, and I loved it. I think, in fact, I loved it for all the wrong reasons. I loved it because no one cared if I was a slob. I loved it because I didn't have to answer to anyone for anything. I could let laundry, dishes, everything slide because no one else lived there. However, this also meant that I almost never had company, and spent much of my time here in solitude - not necessarily a bad thing.

Now that I've spent some time being by myself, I think I'm ready to take that next step. I am determined to be much more ruthless about the things I clear out of my life on this move in the hopes that I can condense my life to a small one-bedroom apartment that still has room for me to walk. I figure this will only make moving to wherever I end up after graduation easier. It also means that I can have company without being embarrassed about the state of my life.

But as the time draws near, I find myself alternating between states of elation and panic. When I go to my empty new apartment, I am filled with peace and hope. Then I think about the second bedroom in my current apartment that is entirely filled with the things that wouldn't fit anywhere else, and I panic. This will certainly be a process.

And yet, even as I panic, I know that staying here would have made my last year of graduate school miserable. The last thing I want to connect to my final year of this amazing experience is a miserable home life. It is time for me to organize my life. For me, this time.

1 comments:

Brynnetervention said...
July 15, 2011 at 10:09 PM

Just left moversville... just wait for that moment where the new apartment becomes home and you don't feel like you're staying in someone else's place any more. It'll sneak up on you.

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